Day22 - My Academics

I have to say a very big thank you to God for making me who I am today. I can say the journey thus far wasn't an easy one, I can also say I wish I could go back in time and cross those T's and dot my I's.

My academics has been a very good one, sometimes I think so deep and I wonder where I got my wisdom and understanding from. I must confess its striving to do what is worth doing well that keeps me going. During the course of the week I was privileged to stumble across my seat partner in Class 5 and she reminded me how smart I used to be, I miss those days when I was focused, when fine girls where not the other of the day. Anytime I tell them(pry and high school friends) that I don't feel I was that smart they all yimu me and take me as a proud young man. Those days maths was the other of the day, as we speak now I have an online SHL test for a company I applied to but I am not in the mood to solve. I hate writing, I hate solving, I hate playing with figures, laziness has set in but from where?!

How did it start...this takes me back to class 3, I had this red evil maths textbook can't remember the name and trust me it is not ugo.c.ugo or understanding maths. Sums where so hard that I hid this book and told my parents it had been misplaced. They scolded me hard till I gave up my lies. One day out of 40questions I couldn't even solve one I ran away from the house forming I was going for choir practice. Unfortunately I never found my friend who I was to follow, I returned home to face the naval man's wrath he beat me so hard that I cried on my maths text. Guess what as the tears dropped on the page, it was like magic, I saw the answers, I solved in my brain, my little fingers wrote faster than my brain. Day in day out I mastered the act of mathematics, it became too easy. Pry 5 and Year 10 I ended up been the best maths student in my set.

Time flies you wouldn't believe that story just popped up in my head, how I remembered it only God knows. My academics has been a very graceful one I miss school, I miss education but along the line a girl always shows up. Its one more phase, one more mountain to cross for now at least my M.Eng in petroleum engineering that's all on my mind, I am even working on my essays so I can gain admission for my last academic stage of my life. I might still consider an MBA but till then my brain has been stretched but I must return back to school someday God sparing my life.
Regards,
Ehi Egbele
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Day21 - How I hope my future to be like

The title of this post makes me smile over and over again...ask me why? Because if I start with my daydream about my Trinidad and Tobago wife with our son and daughter on our very own island you all would stone me with rotten eggs.
But really how do I want my future to be like? Do I want to be a working class man who is always travelling about with little or no time for the kids, or do I want to have my business so I can retire at an early age... These are the questions that bother me as I type this post.
I want to be comfortable enough, so I can get married to the right person before I am thirty years old, I want just two kids a girl and a guy, but if I get two of the same sexes concurrently I would try with another child then give up. I don't want to have a football team in my house crying and running helter skelter. I don't want a very proud future it has to be a lowkey one, I want to have a good job probably one in the oil and gas industry as this has been a dream for many years. I want to be a man who has made a little impact in my very own world someone who would leave footprints in the sands of time when I am gone. All these about my future has started a long time ago the plans are on ground and more scripts are added day in day out.
I Want to be so different from my dad, as generous as he is but still very different. By Gods grace I hope not to be in Nigeria but I am not saying if I find myself here I would kill myself, well man must survive but seriously even though my kids have their primary education here well after that they are out of this country shikena. I know God has plans for me and I am not ready to go out of his will for my life I just have to stick to the script without skipping scenes. I don't want a big house like my father, first of all I am not a guy that likes big things or let me put it like this big things come in small packages that's who I am. I would prefer go stay in a flat with 4 rooms, 1 for my wife and I, 2 for the kids and 1 for my guest. When I finally build or buy a house it must have more of land than the structure itself, there has to be more room for my lawn and parking of my different cars, a swimming pool and a mini-court. I think I am getting proud, anyway summer travelling around the world is a compulsory thing despite the country I finally settle down. I have so many big dreams that this white clipboard I am typing on cannot handle I think its better I leave my lips sealed and leave every other thing for God.
Time will actually tell don't go nowhere because your boy Remzay is actually heading for the moon and not the sky.
Regards,
Ehi Egbele
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Day20 - My FEARS

I needed it badly, I couldn’t multitask, it was difficult but guess what I think I am back from my one week break. I am very sorry for not taking permission to go the break but trust me it was worth it. You know my NYSC us ending very soon so I took a break to work some things out.

Everyone has fears, even the richest man in the world is scared of tomorrow because he can die and leave everything, he may even be scared of losing his top position on the Forbes list. These are my fears;

I just have this feeling I wouldn’t marry a fine girl compared to those I have dated.

I am scared as we speak that I may change my mind and come back to this country when and if I finally escape.

I am scared that I could lose my life any moment from now without having to see lil Ehi.

I have this feeling I might not be as rich as I want.

I have this feeling that if I ask her out the answer is NO

I have this feeling I might not get the job I highly need at this moment

I have this feeling I may be this slim for life

I have this feeling that my stupidity or silliness may have increased from the last time it was measured.

I have this feeling she loves me but doesn’t want to make a mistake

I just have this feeling I may hit a girl some day even after 10years of abstaining

I have this feeling my best friend would not be my best man at my wedding

I have this feeling I may not make Heaven but God forbid.

I have this feeling that sometime soon this blog would be forgotten

I have this feeling arsenal might not win a cup even 5 years from now

I have this feeling that writing is not meant for me

I have this feeling that someday I would sleep and never wake up

I have this feeling I should never have written this post because my fears might actually come to pass K

Day19 - Five Things I Lust After

For all is vanity but we always wish we can have them all. The bible says "for what shall it profit a man if he gain the whole world and lose his own soul". Its human nature to lust after the things of this world, I can't imagine I am being limited to only five. Lmao I can't even name 3 without thinking deep but anyway enough of the blabbing let's get down to business.

1. Perfumes
I love nice scents. I wonder who in the world loves BO. You don't need to spray up to smell nice but I always wish I could soak myself up in a good perf and walk around. Don't you just love it when the ladies tell you that you have a nice scent and what's the name of your cologne, ghen ghen!!! You now give them that proud look in your mind and your like duhhh like I don't know, in fact I can't wait for my next perf I just hope this time around I don't have to spray 24hours before time because of my sister and her hatred for woody perfs.

2.Food
X_X I am currently sober, my stomach hurts so bad just because of the love for food. I actually went on a distance just to experience the taste of food served at mobil for lunch. It was really an experience and worth it. I can't afford to tell you all I had but I can say it was a greedy meal. I have my days when I grub 2days meal in one seating and I have days when I am not just in the mood to eat but trust me everybody loves a good meal. I wonder where all the food goes at the end of the day, it just evaporates into the thin air 8-|

3. G55 AMG
It just had to enter my list. I can't see a G55 AMG pass and not shiver or have goose flesh, its classic, its fresh, its boxy and it has all it takes. By Gods grace this would be my first SUV *whew* seems I have to work harder. Mercedes really make the best cars to me, they just make cars to have such a mean look that would make you think of stealing just to take the car for a ride and return it. I actually heard this particular SUV summer salts and lands back on its tyres like a cat lands on it feet. I heard oo I didn't say so but surely you got to love a black SUV like the G55 AMG if you need pictures just google it.

4. Clothes and Footwears
I love being in style that is all. Who in this world wants to look like a rifraf. You have to spend good money to look good. Since I graduated from school I have been trying to change my whole collection and I can assure you I have tried to an extent. I can't just wait for the dollar bills to start rolling in then you would see the real Reme I would splash that cash straight in the shops.

5. The I's
I am sure you are wondering what this means. Don't let your mind go to far, I actually mean all apple products the i touch,i phone,i pad,i mac if there is anything like that. I can't wait to get all and if you don't want me waiting you can sow into my life :D
Regards,
Ehi Egbele
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Day18 - A Problem I Have Had

I hate remembering the past, the thought about it hurts so much. This evening the dermatologist just had to ask I wonder how an irritation on both of my legs links to me being an asthmatic patient.

I can't remember my first attack but I can remember the last, it was all like yesterday. As I grew up my mum promised me that by the time I am 18 it would be all gone. I dreamt of my 18th birthday day in day out because it was just like it would never come. The attacks always came at the wrong time, towards the night, difficulty sleeping was the order of the day, breathing so deeply in and yet the required amount of energy not getting in. Life was harsh sometimes I prayed it would just end and save me the trauma.

Seconds,minutes,hours,days,weeks,months and years went by with different attacks and sleepless nights, sometimes they lasted for about a week but I trusted my mum that all would be well someday. I have never been so scared in my life after my mum broke the news to me that Aunty Rose-mary her best friend from university had died on her way to the hospital from an attack :( may her soul rest in peace. Attack after attack and by Gods grace I am still alive, my sisters used to be so scared begging me to explain how I can't enough oxygen despite my heavy breathing, what more could I explain it was what it was.

My last attack was the worst, I think the worst was saved for the last *whew*. It was back then in 2002 when I was in year 9 before Junior WAEC. I noticed my tracts were all blocked and I had to raise my chest up to breathe, I knew the time had come so I decided to miss night prep and stay back in hostel. That was too dangerous only me without a friend and an attack happened, no ventolin close by I ha d to crawl to the nurse's room a floor below mine, it took me 1hr for a 5mins trek in normal cases. I crawled and crawled till I reached and I can't remember what happened next but it was God that saw me through. Since then no major attack but in smoky places I still feel weird. I am glad to tell you I can sweep now, drink cold water and even sleep with the ac on :D

I don't think I have had any problem ever worse than this, I am so glad it is well with my soul. Good night.
Regards,
Ehi Egbele
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Day17 - Something I Am PROUD Of

I can boast anywhere any day any time saying I had the best home training as a child. As a child of a military man you know rubbish can't be expected from you. I was brought up in a Godly fashion, obedient, willing to learn and a never giving up mentality.

I am proud of my parents for imbibing in me the above listed characteristics. I owe them a lot because without God and them I am a nobody. Right from the day I was born and wrapped in a cream quilt to the moment of typing this post they have been there for me. In spiritual, financial and even physical aid they have been helpful. I really need to sleep right now but I can go on and on. My parents are my most priceless possession #dontdull. Sleep tight fellas.
Regards,
Ehi Egbele
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Day16 - Something I always think "What if...?!" About

Sorry this post is about a day late. It is actually dawning on me september is already here, I thought by this time I would have gotten a job. I don't want to rely on man who keeps telling me Ehi don't worry all is well. For Christ sakes my contract ends in twenty-five days time and I can't even see the tiniest shade of light that signifies the end of the tunnel.

The question "What If?!" Has started ringing a bell in my head, 3 new corpers in my department :s there is a God watching up there. But what if I really go back to my bed just like last year before NYSC started. Life just sucks not having a paid job or where to go 9 to 5pm. You can't just wake up and be looking for p to attend or wake up to read a novel, or wake up to watch your fan spin. Where there is a will there is a way. My future is bright all I need now is a little inner peace, I need to stop panicking.

The question what if?! Also comes to my mind every time. What if I actually lose my dad soon, God forbid. Being the only son am I matured enough to be the bread winner,can I also fend for myself alone. I know this is too sad in fact let me stop here before I start saying things that begin to scare people.
Regards,
Ehi Egbele
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