30 day Writing Challenge

I don't even know where to start from but a hundred and two days away wasn't easy. I missed you all and I have a few reasons for leaving without notice. Trust me laziness is a female dog (figure that out), I have not been busy let me blame my lack of posts on my shyness, I became shy to write, Ehi please be serious!!! That's Reme my alter ego talking to me, we just met a few months back don't worry that story is for another day.

So much has happened in my life, don't worry I can't jump from a moving bus to another yet so the stories are piled up somewhere for future posts let's just say I was on a Mission-get-faT I can't even boast of adding 3pounds ooops 3kg to my skinny body. Enough of the beating around the bush, she explained to me that I was on a "writer's block" it means not having the urge or passion to write, lack of motivation, please google it for clarification.

I hope I am back for good but I need my mojo back yes I said it. I have been reading a lot of blogs and I came across a 30-day challenge. Let me explain quickly my bed is whispering my name already, 30 topics that will run through 30 days meaning you are stuck with me for the next 30 days trust me some days are going to be damn boring, and I didn't pick the topics mind you, she did!! I have to procrastinate again I hope to start on saturday the 20th by Gods grace.

A big thank you to all those who kept checking and encouraging me to write again despite the negative answers like remsville.blogspot is dead from me. Without you this would have stopped existing....okay enough of the thank you speech am off see you soon. *yawns*

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*whew*

This journey get as e be. I am under intense stress atm, I have rained so many curses on God knows who, of course this useless traffic. I have been in it for the past four hours. You think you have been in traffic before, hold it *dont mention 3rd mainland traffic or ajah traffic* I can slap you from here if you try it. When I mean dead I mean dead.

This is the worst road trip I have encountered since the late 80's I was conceived. I have managed to be in a couple of road trips and trust me its fun depending on your movement. I have travelled in a military convoy from gidi to abuja, it was fun, at least my old man was there. Hehehe military men have an insane side, they beat up a cab driver all because he almost brushed one of the cars, in fact remaining small na to handcuff him and carry to somewhere that wouldn't have been funny. I have travelled from gidi to ife in a chevron convoy 80km/hr too much swag.

Movement occurs after every 20minutes about 7phases of intense traffic with so many trailers on the gullified road. Benin-Ore road is really in a state of macabre dance take a trip and you may hate your life forever, its really that bad. Slowly and surely we shall get there, I am really in need of ice-block to calm this head-ache but I cannot trust anyone on this road again. An elderly woman just sold Hob Nobs to me that had expired some years ago *i am not in the mood of swearing for her* trust me no one messes with a benin boy. This traffic seems un-ending, time to take a bow, ma second battery is almost gone.

Finally I can see "welcome to igbenedion university" I am irritated but I thank God for bringing me this far, and also etisalat for delivering ma pings and messages in real time!!!
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Na so we see aM

OMG!!! This silly alarm never seizes to frustrate me. I wonder why sometimes it just always remembers to disturb a hard earned dream. I am so weak and weary, my body hurts me everyday all because I wanted a bigger bed, I dismantled my bed frame and now sleep on the floor *shaking my hed*. Anyway that is not why we are here, memories of yesterday keep flashing back not just because of the most useless film "Sucker Punch" that I saw but because I was with her. I looked her in her eyes and my mind travelled back to that very Tuesday in June 2010, the day we first met under the rain, heheheh "tongue out" that story is for the future when we get married *ilike to whyne myself sha" dreams come true jare but the truth is there are some people you will forever have a soft spot for.

It seems too early for all these, people jogging, people hustling, people already arguing with conductor for change, people hawking haba!!! Las gidi I will miss you there is never a place like home. Enroute Edo state :| I am not really prepared for this, I hate changing my environment, I don't mean changing like going to NY or ATL I mean inter-state travelling within Naija, I even hate going to Abuja irrespective of my parents giving me a royal treatment I am fine and love my hood. If I stand my ground and say Reme aint going to Edo all those pep talks about me being a man and some day I will go back to the village and settle down, I am not interested in such traditional ish!!! If I have my way and I pray I do have it nothing like trad wedding #notime if you like hate me I am just being me we live in the jet age.

What's on my mind?! So much is there, trying to have a sneak peak of the future, trust me it hurts ma brain cells, lets just leave it at its going to be a mystery. Engr Reme that's the name on the wedding program, I am one of the grooms men chai!!! Never done such never imagined doing it. I believe it took more than jazz for me to agree to be part of this wedding. We all try something new once in our lives. I will get back to this we have barely even started this God knows how many hours journey and my phone battery has 3.5 bars of life *angry smiley I h8 this damn fone*. Stretches and cracks knuckles, hold on tight I will be back in a few....
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03.03

I wonder why I feel so much pain, my knees hurt, my eyes are heavy, my waist joint seems to be out of place. Wait!! What's today's date?! *now cleaning my eyes*, how did I wake up in my Crane house wear shirt and shorts and why am I in such footwear but really the calender says 03 March and today is "Thursday". I can hardly see the year, I feel so odd and it seems I have been on ma knees for the last 3-4hours and I can also bet this is Mrs Kayode's office the Vice Principal Admin.

My mind is getting clearer by the second, I had a bit of sleep last night because of my physics test. Right now I feel like shit, my 6 years of being a saint in this school has just been ruined. I regret all my acts, if only I had listened to my inner man, I lost my temper, I lost my cool, my head feels outa my body because I doubt if I used it to think before all my actions.

1330hours: I was seated in the physics lab working on my C.A test when I heard a deep but small voice. It was Carl asking me for the value of G (the earth's gravitational force which is equal to 6point something multiplied by 10 raised to power 31), you can now applaud me for that. At first I didn't want to answer him but he was persistent so I told him but unfortunately for me Mr Solabi was passing by.

Hegbele *in thick yoruba H factor accent* go and submit your note, you were cheating, I am sorry sir I wasn't cheating he asked for the value of G and I told him.'I repeat go and submit' and without an atom of thought I threw my 40leaves note at the man on the table and walked out straight into my class year 12 yellow. I am vibrating really badly and he walks up to me to go back and pick up my note, I hesitate for about 5mins, when I can no longer stand my classmates begging and all that ish that 'we re in our finals I go back angrily to pick it up meanwhile my girlfriend Seun is busy crying her eyes out for my deeds in the physics lab but why?!

With boiling anger, I walk straight to the hostel despite the fact that school hadn't ended. I didn't even bother answering Mallam Akhmed the maiguard at the hostel gate. Straight to my bed and I am pondering on the 0/10 I am going to get in my well read for test. We are having eba for lunch so I don't even bother going to the dinning hall. Before I can blink I hear my name and its time for sports. I jump down from my double-decker bed grab my red nike footie and head to the bathroom to wash my face.

Two juniors abusing their mothers but I hear only the year 7 student, so I wash my face I don't care about their explanations because I want to believe only what I heard initially, I tell him to ride okada "its a kind of punishment" and off I go out of the hostel. Getting back from sports I get into my room and see year 10 boys eating contraband, I tell them to lie bare chested on the cold floor and I take off for a quick shower. Getting back to my room Ita is not participating in the punishment because he feels he is too big, ok Ita kneel down and he does it on one knee. Without thinking I grab my belt like a Samurai and give him a slash on his back, he stands with fury on his way to report but with a peaceable heart I try to make peace, I grab his left hand he forces himself free but of course with some flesh missing due to my witchy long nails.

Everything seems so odd, everywhere I take a step there is one mistake or a bit of trouble waiting for me I wonder why?! I am now in my crane house wear heading to the library to open it for final year students to read for their exams (I am library prefect by the way). I have not even left the hostel before I find out the matron is looking for me, I ignore and head for the library but my geography teacher Mr Akintade interrupts me on the way that I am needed in the VP admin's office asap....finally everything is taking shape at least I know how I found myself kneeling down there.

Kneel down and obey before complain, one of the most useless statements I have ever heard of. It took about 4 teachers and the matron who I still believe is a witch to bring me down like Goliath to my damn knees. They claim I almost got the year 7 student dead due to the fact that he was in an okada mode for hours, before they even finish talking Ita comes with his bleeding hand and slashed back. I am guilty as charged, there is no turning back from this, I have to face the consequences. I was on my knees, I was thinking hard, hurting my head trying to take the wheels of time back. This is forever my worst day cause I believe there can never be another of such I will probably kill myself if it happens again.

Wait!! What's today's date?! *now cleaning my eyes*, how did I wake up in my crane house wear shirt and shorts, why am I wearing trekkers but really the calender says 03 march and today is also a "Thursday". Wow how time flies, today is actually 03 March and its also thursday but there is a but I am 6years in the future!!

N.B This is non-fiction and all names have been changed due to personal reasons and victimisation of my cast. No grudges or malice, it is just an epic moment from the sands of time. Happy New Month readers.
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♥ ♥ ♥

Wow its just like yesterday the year started and we are already in February my worst month of the year, don't worry I will get back to that. Happy new month to all ma fellow readers that's if you people still read, I know it haff tayed since I last blogged but ma people e no easy o.

Time to stop beating around the bush, this is the month of ♥ and the colour red. I am sure you all know what I am talking about "ST VALENTINE'S DAY" otherwise known as vals day for short. Back to why I hate this month, before I forget this is going to be my first time out of school celebrating dat dreaded day (as a graduate somethin), wow I don't even have a girlfriend OMG I am free *nau kneeling down and sayin thank you Lord*.

I have not still mentioned why I hate the month, don't worry I am doing it on purpose but kilode?? Yu suppose know y nau haba!! Anyway let me spill it *nau covering ma face* it is when Ehi's mumu mode is turned on to above 100% chai life is not fair, see as I dey abuse myself. I always spend above the budget which is not just right thank God my eyes are cleared now. All those days of buying perfume and teddy bears are over....ehrmmm sorry not over like that asin they are on pause till further notice.

But Naija gurls sef the fact remains that our skins are black what goes on in the white world is not a must it happens in our side. Flowers for vals, teddy for vals, all complete rubbish and waste of money please don't crucify me, this is strictly Reme's point of view. The truth is dat valentine is not all about the gifts and the red colour, or the continental meals its a time to share ♥ and be closer to your girl or man.

But Nigerians again I say we are difficult people to understand, as February starts the girls start acting a little nicer to their man friends just because they want to be val'd meanwhile on the mens side as January ends excuses start coming up,they start acting harsh, spring up #dead arguements just to avoid that day. The truth is that we should just be all normal I am not saying we shouldn't buy gifts. Please buy with sense, I know some stubborn readers we still go and buy to over impress with a girl that may not be there tomorrow.

I am so relieved sad a bit, nobody to spend on hahahaha *evil laff* I shall spend on maself good idea not done that for a while now. But deep down inside me I wish I had someone despite hating the month of ♥ , just someone to care for and all, don't ask me I have so many female friends but....I leave it as "but" I just know the right person will come some day "Time will Tell".

I am sure you wouldn't believe I am in the office right nau but kini? Man gats rest. Office work has been good, finally plotted my first oil well for exxon mobil (its an old one) given to me as an assignment or will I say practice work. I am so glad things are going the way they are meant to but I am a bit ☹ my colleague Femi was transferred to Mobil to do client work for the remaining 7months of NYSC wish it was me, I guess God has a purpose for everything. It just seems the work in oil servicing companies is just too much compared to the payslip with the rate at which I hear clicks of a mouse every second. They are always busy its a screen-click life we live here. I don tire too much gossip for this post. I leave you with this "You never know how the system operates until you are in it".

N.B: in case you want to val me I wouldn't mind an apple product asin macbook/ipad/iphone/itouch any of them will do *winks*
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HappyNewYear

I feel I have been so wicked to you all, please pardon me I am very sorry. My blog still exists for all those that will read this at a much later time. By the way HAPPY NEW YEAR to you all. This year has not even reached a week and I am already so elated. I will get back to that.

I didn't end my blog in 2010 on a good note, it does not make sense typing and editing dates so you just have to bear with me cause this is going to be my longest post ever. Please if you cannot finish reading in one hour, one day or even one week do not give up because for the next 30mins I am going to pour out everything str8 as it comes to my head...sit back and enjoy.

So here's my 2010 recap:
In general I want to thank God almighty because of Him I am breathing and I am a testimony, I crossed over into the new year. January to December is still playing like a movie in ma head in fact it was my best year ever on this mother earth.

January: that's a year ago oo hmmm ok I wrote my alpha semester exam, asin I jacked like hell expecting a first class gp buhh it was all good, God still knows best.

February: wow I guess they are always d same but this year 2011 is going to be different. I cleared my account just to val a girl( that vals thingy is crap jor #justsaying)

March: second semester started with earnest work on my final year project. It was kinda fun working day and night to achieve an error free voting system. I also kicked off my very first blog.

April: asin I am laughing at the moment (atm) don't know why, it was a heart breaking month, broke up with ehmmmm ok she was my girlfriend I confess but things didn't go rite, abeg no further questions, that is my past nau.

May: time was running out graduation was a month away, started my finals at the end of the month, kicked off "50 last dates" OMG asin I met babes!!! Lets leave it at that.

June: ended my finals in grand style, met a gurl of ma dreams dnt worry nothin happened between us. I almost forgot TTG (time to go) I dey joke ooo its some thingy dey use to keep us occupied in school till convocation Towards a Total Graduate. Hmmm that faithful day when the Registrar called me out for sagging and told me to announce ma cgpa on the public announcement system x_x, its on ma old blog jare go find out the rest of the story.

July: convocation! convocation!! convocation!!! I have never felt so awesome in my life, my roomie launched his first book, I took ill for the first time that year.

August: full throttle no time for jokes I started waka ooo, took a trip to live with my parents in abuja, it was a splendid holiday, met the greatest friends the world can ever provide. It was fun,my best month of the year.

September: back to las gidi, tried to write a certification exam buhh I didn't finally write, that reminds me I have to get back to that someday its oil and gas atm.

October: wow my 22nd birthday x_x I don old ooo eeepa like me, I also got my dream nysc posting Las gidi baby, resumed in camp ede my place of nitemares and irritations, kicked off tweeting officially.

November: camp ede in full flite, memories, fun days, parade, inter platoon competitions, beagle blowing, obeying the clarion cal, under the sun n in the rain, OMG I feel like crying never again will there ever be a gathering like that, time is really the scarcest thing on earth. Anyway back to my recap, I got posted to chevron, got my schlumberger request letter.

December: started my new job after a series of stress due to rejection, medical check-up and the likes. Wow I didn't get paid buhh trust me there was still a lil fun, thanks to ma hi skool buddies, we had a little reunion party and jeez o_o mehn everybody don change ooo, Maye's height is extraordinary, Aisha still calls me Mayowa, Iamyinks is always getting refreshed and refined, Halima has put on weight, Stephanie is still d same, so are Ngozi and Aitua. That reminds me I met Jenny, Ese, Tope and Seyi dis same month. Wow my wingman and best buddy Mayo haha he's truly a friend..google his name for the rest of the story.

2011 here we come, everyday I have a reason to shine my teeth haha...1st day of the year I couldn't make it to church, yay I forgot I crossed into the year in church ooo choi wch can yawa I wan put masef inside nau. Anyway no b everybody holy. Wow the second day of the year which was the first sunday was just too awesome, wonderful thanksgiving service + chinese declared by the pastor. Monday was a public holiday, I was indoors throughout reading, studying wotever you want to call it buhh to stay abreast in #slb you have to be on ur toes.

Whew finally I don reach today, this typing no easy, ma fingers don they melt. We had a little nysc reunion at ipaja dats wat I wanna call it because nothing was really achieved by me, just sitting at a corner cause I h8 crowd and greeting passer-bys. I heard the beagle today hahahaha and memories again sped back, old faces, new faces, everyone was there. Thanks to google maps I was able to find Mayowa's house in lere to chill. Met one of ma tweethrts today mehn d geh is hot,cute, fine evrything all join wish she stayed in las gidi *sobs* till we meet again dearie God b wiv yu. Oshe abeg e don do this thin no easy to proof read I don tire sef...I am in my house atm and dinner is calling me, ma belle dey rumble here not tasted nada since morning....ayeeearrryeeeeaaaaaa *in Danfosta's voice*

DEUCES FELLAS!!!
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:::InSpIrAtIoN

Yipeeeee I feel so glad I am out of blog jail, if something like that even exists. All I needed was a lil inspiration from my readers but all of you seem to be as busy as myself. Thank God for people like Steve who decided to bell the cat and force me to write again *whew* it has not been easy people.

I am so confused I don't know where to start from. A lot has being going on in my life but a story must always have a beginning and an end... So here it goes. Just today I decided to take a bold step and open my own time capsule to view my expectations for the year 2010, and believe me all has gone in God's own way, there are a few more days to the end of this calender year and I am still expectant of so many miracles, by God's grace my 11th hour miracle is on the way.

Back to the opening of my time capsule, expectation #03: Lord I pray I get to do my NYSC ppa in Chevron or somewhere better. God has everything planned even before we were all created. I prayed for Chevron and He sent me there but I begged Him for a change and in His infinite mercies He granted me another job with Schlumberger oil Nigeria. Anyway getting my request letter and a new reposting letter was kinda a lot of stress but all that is behind me. The job is great and fun but I will not be paid this month talkless of the 13th month salary...lolz armed robber like me please don't mind me ooo I just started work 7th Dec. The good news is that I get double salary in January buhh are you sure I can tarry, I cant dull this xmas ooo even though I just got into the mood today during ma parish's carol service.

Multitasking aint an easy something o, tweeting, bbm and normal life jeez....my life is being overtaken by twitter, I barely have time for myself buhh the good thing is that I have made such a good family rite there that once I don't tweet in a day I feel sick. My fingers are hurting, I believe I have tried and sunday pounded yam is calling me at the moment I will be ✓ back don't you dare leave ur screen.
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