Thursday, March 3, 2011

03.03

I wonder why I feel so much pain, my knees hurt, my eyes are heavy, my waist joint seems to be out of place. Wait!! What's today's date?! *now cleaning my eyes*, how did I wake up in my Crane house wear shirt and shorts and why am I in such footwear but really the calender says 03 March and today is "Thursday". I can hardly see the year, I feel so odd and it seems I have been on ma knees for the last 3-4hours and I can also bet this is Mrs Kayode's office the Vice Principal Admin.

My mind is getting clearer by the second, I had a bit of sleep last night because of my physics test. Right now I feel like shit, my 6 years of being a saint in this school has just been ruined. I regret all my acts, if only I had listened to my inner man, I lost my temper, I lost my cool, my head feels outa my body because I doubt if I used it to think before all my actions.

1330hours: I was seated in the physics lab working on my C.A test when I heard a deep but small voice. It was Carl asking me for the value of G (the earth's gravitational force which is equal to 6point something multiplied by 10 raised to power 31), you can now applaud me for that. At first I didn't want to answer him but he was persistent so I told him but unfortunately for me Mr Solabi was passing by.

Hegbele *in thick yoruba H factor accent* go and submit your note, you were cheating, I am sorry sir I wasn't cheating he asked for the value of G and I told him.'I repeat go and submit' and without an atom of thought I threw my 40leaves note at the man on the table and walked out straight into my class year 12 yellow. I am vibrating really badly and he walks up to me to go back and pick up my note, I hesitate for about 5mins, when I can no longer stand my classmates begging and all that ish that 'we re in our finals I go back angrily to pick it up meanwhile my girlfriend Seun is busy crying her eyes out for my deeds in the physics lab but why?!

With boiling anger, I walk straight to the hostel despite the fact that school hadn't ended. I didn't even bother answering Mallam Akhmed the maiguard at the hostel gate. Straight to my bed and I am pondering on the 0/10 I am going to get in my well read for test. We are having eba for lunch so I don't even bother going to the dinning hall. Before I can blink I hear my name and its time for sports. I jump down from my double-decker bed grab my red nike footie and head to the bathroom to wash my face.

Two juniors abusing their mothers but I hear only the year 7 student, so I wash my face I don't care about their explanations because I want to believe only what I heard initially, I tell him to ride okada "its a kind of punishment" and off I go out of the hostel. Getting back from sports I get into my room and see year 10 boys eating contraband, I tell them to lie bare chested on the cold floor and I take off for a quick shower. Getting back to my room Ita is not participating in the punishment because he feels he is too big, ok Ita kneel down and he does it on one knee. Without thinking I grab my belt like a Samurai and give him a slash on his back, he stands with fury on his way to report but with a peaceable heart I try to make peace, I grab his left hand he forces himself free but of course with some flesh missing due to my witchy long nails.

Everything seems so odd, everywhere I take a step there is one mistake or a bit of trouble waiting for me I wonder why?! I am now in my crane house wear heading to the library to open it for final year students to read for their exams (I am library prefect by the way). I have not even left the hostel before I find out the matron is looking for me, I ignore and head for the library but my geography teacher Mr Akintade interrupts me on the way that I am needed in the VP admin's office asap....finally everything is taking shape at least I know how I found myself kneeling down there.

Kneel down and obey before complain, one of the most useless statements I have ever heard of. It took about 4 teachers and the matron who I still believe is a witch to bring me down like Goliath to my damn knees. They claim I almost got the year 7 student dead due to the fact that he was in an okada mode for hours, before they even finish talking Ita comes with his bleeding hand and slashed back. I am guilty as charged, there is no turning back from this, I have to face the consequences. I was on my knees, I was thinking hard, hurting my head trying to take the wheels of time back. This is forever my worst day cause I believe there can never be another of such I will probably kill myself if it happens again.

Wait!! What's today's date?! *now cleaning my eyes*, how did I wake up in my crane house wear shirt and shorts, why am I wearing trekkers but really the calender says 03 march and today is also a "Thursday". Wow how time flies, today is actually 03 March and its also thursday but there is a but I am 6years in the future!!

N.B This is non-fiction and all names have been changed due to personal reasons and victimisation of my cast. No grudges or malice, it is just an epic moment from the sands of time. Happy New Month readers.
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Friday, February 4, 2011

♥ ♥ ♥

Wow its just like yesterday the year started and we are already in February my worst month of the year, don't worry I will get back to that. Happy new month to all ma fellow readers that's if you people still read, I know it haff tayed since I last blogged but ma people e no easy o.

Time to stop beating around the bush, this is the month of ♥ and the colour red. I am sure you all know what I am talking about "ST VALENTINE'S DAY" otherwise known as vals day for short. Back to why I hate this month, before I forget this is going to be my first time out of school celebrating dat dreaded day (as a graduate somethin), wow I don't even have a girlfriend OMG I am free *nau kneeling down and sayin thank you Lord*.

I have not still mentioned why I hate the month, don't worry I am doing it on purpose but kilode?? Yu suppose know y nau haba!! Anyway let me spill it *nau covering ma face* it is when Ehi's mumu mode is turned on to above 100% chai life is not fair, see as I dey abuse myself. I always spend above the budget which is not just right thank God my eyes are cleared now. All those days of buying perfume and teddy bears are over....ehrmmm sorry not over like that asin they are on pause till further notice.

But Naija gurls sef the fact remains that our skins are black what goes on in the white world is not a must it happens in our side. Flowers for vals, teddy for vals, all complete rubbish and waste of money please don't crucify me, this is strictly Reme's point of view. The truth is dat valentine is not all about the gifts and the red colour, or the continental meals its a time to share ♥ and be closer to your girl or man.

But Nigerians again I say we are difficult people to understand, as February starts the girls start acting a little nicer to their man friends just because they want to be val'd meanwhile on the mens side as January ends excuses start coming up,they start acting harsh, spring up #dead arguements just to avoid that day. The truth is that we should just be all normal I am not saying we shouldn't buy gifts. Please buy with sense, I know some stubborn readers we still go and buy to over impress with a girl that may not be there tomorrow.

I am so relieved sad a bit, nobody to spend on hahahaha *evil laff* I shall spend on maself good idea not done that for a while now. But deep down inside me I wish I had someone despite hating the month of ♥ , just someone to care for and all, don't ask me I have so many female friends but....I leave it as "but" I just know the right person will come some day "Time will Tell".

I am sure you wouldn't believe I am in the office right nau but kini? Man gats rest. Office work has been good, finally plotted my first oil well for exxon mobil (its an old one) given to me as an assignment or will I say practice work. I am so glad things are going the way they are meant to but I am a bit ☹ my colleague Femi was transferred to Mobil to do client work for the remaining 7months of NYSC wish it was me, I guess God has a purpose for everything. It just seems the work in oil servicing companies is just too much compared to the payslip with the rate at which I hear clicks of a mouse every second. They are always busy its a screen-click life we live here. I don tire too much gossip for this post. I leave you with this "You never know how the system operates until you are in it".

N.B: in case you want to val me I wouldn't mind an apple product asin macbook/ipad/iphone/itouch any of them will do *winks*
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Tuesday, January 4, 2011

HappyNewYear

I feel I have been so wicked to you all, please pardon me I am very sorry. My blog still exists for all those that will read this at a much later time. By the way HAPPY NEW YEAR to you all. This year has not even reached a week and I am already so elated. I will get back to that.

I didn't end my blog in 2010 on a good note, it does not make sense typing and editing dates so you just have to bear with me cause this is going to be my longest post ever. Please if you cannot finish reading in one hour, one day or even one week do not give up because for the next 30mins I am going to pour out everything str8 as it comes to my head...sit back and enjoy.

So here's my 2010 recap:
In general I want to thank God almighty because of Him I am breathing and I am a testimony, I crossed over into the new year. January to December is still playing like a movie in ma head in fact it was my best year ever on this mother earth.

January: that's a year ago oo hmmm ok I wrote my alpha semester exam, asin I jacked like hell expecting a first class gp buhh it was all good, God still knows best.

February: wow I guess they are always d same but this year 2011 is going to be different. I cleared my account just to val a girl( that vals thingy is crap jor #justsaying)

March: second semester started with earnest work on my final year project. It was kinda fun working day and night to achieve an error free voting system. I also kicked off my very first blog.

April: asin I am laughing at the moment (atm) don't know why, it was a heart breaking month, broke up with ehmmmm ok she was my girlfriend I confess but things didn't go rite, abeg no further questions, that is my past nau.

May: time was running out graduation was a month away, started my finals at the end of the month, kicked off "50 last dates" OMG asin I met babes!!! Lets leave it at that.

June: ended my finals in grand style, met a gurl of ma dreams dnt worry nothin happened between us. I almost forgot TTG (time to go) I dey joke ooo its some thingy dey use to keep us occupied in school till convocation Towards a Total Graduate. Hmmm that faithful day when the Registrar called me out for sagging and told me to announce ma cgpa on the public announcement system x_x, its on ma old blog jare go find out the rest of the story.

July: convocation! convocation!! convocation!!! I have never felt so awesome in my life, my roomie launched his first book, I took ill for the first time that year.

August: full throttle no time for jokes I started waka ooo, took a trip to live with my parents in abuja, it was a splendid holiday, met the greatest friends the world can ever provide. It was fun,my best month of the year.

September: back to las gidi, tried to write a certification exam buhh I didn't finally write, that reminds me I have to get back to that someday its oil and gas atm.

October: wow my 22nd birthday x_x I don old ooo eeepa like me, I also got my dream nysc posting Las gidi baby, resumed in camp ede my place of nitemares and irritations, kicked off tweeting officially.

November: camp ede in full flite, memories, fun days, parade, inter platoon competitions, beagle blowing, obeying the clarion cal, under the sun n in the rain, OMG I feel like crying never again will there ever be a gathering like that, time is really the scarcest thing on earth. Anyway back to my recap, I got posted to chevron, got my schlumberger request letter.

December: started my new job after a series of stress due to rejection, medical check-up and the likes. Wow I didn't get paid buhh trust me there was still a lil fun, thanks to ma hi skool buddies, we had a little reunion party and jeez o_o mehn everybody don change ooo, Maye's height is extraordinary, Aisha still calls me Mayowa, Iamyinks is always getting refreshed and refined, Halima has put on weight, Stephanie is still d same, so are Ngozi and Aitua. That reminds me I met Jenny, Ese, Tope and Seyi dis same month. Wow my wingman and best buddy Mayo haha he's truly a friend..google his name for the rest of the story.

2011 here we come, everyday I have a reason to shine my teeth haha...1st day of the year I couldn't make it to church, yay I forgot I crossed into the year in church ooo choi wch can yawa I wan put masef inside nau. Anyway no b everybody holy. Wow the second day of the year which was the first sunday was just too awesome, wonderful thanksgiving service + chinese declared by the pastor. Monday was a public holiday, I was indoors throughout reading, studying wotever you want to call it buhh to stay abreast in #slb you have to be on ur toes.

Whew finally I don reach today, this typing no easy, ma fingers don they melt. We had a little nysc reunion at ipaja dats wat I wanna call it because nothing was really achieved by me, just sitting at a corner cause I h8 crowd and greeting passer-bys. I heard the beagle today hahahaha and memories again sped back, old faces, new faces, everyone was there. Thanks to google maps I was able to find Mayowa's house in lere to chill. Met one of ma tweethrts today mehn d geh is hot,cute, fine evrything all join wish she stayed in las gidi *sobs* till we meet again dearie God b wiv yu. Oshe abeg e don do this thin no easy to proof read I don tire sef...I am in my house atm and dinner is calling me, ma belle dey rumble here not tasted nada since morning....ayeeearrryeeeeaaaaaa *in Danfosta's voice*

DEUCES FELLAS!!!
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Sunday, December 19, 2010

:::InSpIrAtIoN

Yipeeeee I feel so glad I am out of blog jail, if something like that even exists. All I needed was a lil inspiration from my readers but all of you seem to be as busy as myself. Thank God for people like Steve who decided to bell the cat and force me to write again *whew* it has not been easy people.

I am so confused I don't know where to start from. A lot has being going on in my life but a story must always have a beginning and an end... So here it goes. Just today I decided to take a bold step and open my own time capsule to view my expectations for the year 2010, and believe me all has gone in God's own way, there are a few more days to the end of this calender year and I am still expectant of so many miracles, by God's grace my 11th hour miracle is on the way.

Back to the opening of my time capsule, expectation #03: Lord I pray I get to do my NYSC ppa in Chevron or somewhere better. God has everything planned even before we were all created. I prayed for Chevron and He sent me there but I begged Him for a change and in His infinite mercies He granted me another job with Schlumberger oil Nigeria. Anyway getting my request letter and a new reposting letter was kinda a lot of stress but all that is behind me. The job is great and fun but I will not be paid this month talkless of the 13th month salary...lolz armed robber like me please don't mind me ooo I just started work 7th Dec. The good news is that I get double salary in January buhh are you sure I can tarry, I cant dull this xmas ooo even though I just got into the mood today during ma parish's carol service.

Multitasking aint an easy something o, tweeting, bbm and normal life jeez....my life is being overtaken by twitter, I barely have time for myself buhh the good thing is that I have made such a good family rite there that once I don't tweet in a day I feel sick. My fingers are hurting, I believe I have tried and sunday pounded yam is calling me at the moment I will be ✓ back don't you dare leave ur screen.
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Thursday, November 18, 2010

Barka de Sallah

Presently seated in the car waiting for my sister to come out of the best bank in Naija presently (GTB). So instead of letting time fly pass me thought I should drop a post for my ever loving readers. I keep getting insulted that if I had put so much time I put in blogging in reading, I would have been a 1st class honours student ‎​=))º°˚˚˚°ºнaĦaнaº°˚˚˚°º‎​=)) . I know so much time is being invested but it is to the good of it, the after effects you will see. My autobiography will be so easy to compile with excerpts from my blog just watch out.

Anyway back to the main post of the day. Sallah was fun btw, not the first day of sallah though. I had a severe sore throat, couldn't eat anything nor even drink water. I was bed ridden all day...it wasn't a funny experience, I just kept tweeting, watching movies and sleeping, the most painful part was that I couldn't voice out a word, finally had ma first meal of the day at 20:00hours. My voice is coming up now though.

The second day of sallah, you can trust me nau I no fit carry last highest na draw. I was up early, showered and ready to waka in search of ram meat even though it was once a sacrilege for me. My man kola was in ma house early and by midday we started the hunt...first stop was at chevron to drop Ose, then off to Bakky plaza to pick up 90210 and GG from a friend. Next we were in Nicon estate(my dream estate) wish I could remain there for ever, everywhere so quiet and calm, the houses were not fenced, life there must be good I can swear if I used to. It was fun there, ate some str8 from the oven cookies and chocolate cake,chewed resins as in so ewwwwww reminded me of ma sister's baking.....☹ I cant remember the last tym I ate her baking, see what distance can cause.

Next stop was at the Suleiman-Garba's apartment for a great feast. The food toh bad, couldn't spend a lot of time cause I got a text that there is a party happening at shoprite. Some 120km/hr str8 to Chevron to drop the car and then back to the house to freshen up. Chilling in the house mehn no easy, time to leave finally arrived and my friend came to pick me up, str8 to shoprite and we all had to see the movie "TAKERS" the film is mad I will not exaggerate go and see it for yourself. In fact after seeing the movie my crave for a pump-action shotgun has increased, I have to get one someday.

The night couldn't just end that way with seeing only a movie, straight to KFC for food and then straight to Zamunda to chill. The night was crazy some salsa dancing...u go fear moves I was jealous, I was missing ma sweetheart, me wey no fit dance normal dance na salsa I wan learn yu wan make I break my toothpick legz abi. By the way when we got to zamunda, surprise was screamed for the celebrant by all her friends and folks as she walked in. I didn't want to drink or have anything to do with alcohol ( I am on a personal ban for the main time) so I left with my friend straight for Lekki to watch the much awaited Gossip gurl and 90210 series that I had been stabbed of. I committed a severe blunder ☹ , left my sister sleeping in the parlour with her contacts on, now she had to leave the office because of teary eyes...that's how we got to where I am right now GTBank.

Barka de sallah fellas!!! ‎​Ơ̴̴̴̴̴̴͡.̮Ơ̴̴͡
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Tuesday, November 16, 2010

d HUSTLE just BEGUN

Thoughts are now dawning on me that reality is finally coming to play itself in my life, all I need is to be able to know what is the will of Baba God. I wonder where I shud start from but it has been a frustrating day, you cant blame me probably because I have made up my mind to hate mondays ever since high school.

3am this morning I was up, I am sure some of you have concluded that I was up early because I am meant to resume at my place of primary assignment(ppa). Anyway it aint because of that, campEDE has messed up my sleeping cycle (noticed by Dr Osaje), this has happened 2 consecutive nites I hope today is different though. I tweeted all the way till about 6am when I had to wake up my friend Gbenga who came to spend the night over at my place for morning devotion. I was rushed by him to make breakfast + clean the car + shower. I promised him it wouldn't take 5mins from here to Chevron. By 7.56am we left the house and by 8.01am we were there(that's Reme 4 yu a man of his words)

The journey there was fast, unimaginable the roads were full of corp members obeying the clarion call wearing their khakis, orange boots and caps to their ppa (oversabi who send dem message). I hate the clarion call by the way, under the sun and in the rain(nonsense) because of Clarion ma body don discolor lol. The roads also had many rams fatted and ready for slaughter thank God wednesday I go chop meat die.

You go fear all the corpers wey wan work for chevy, anyway everybody gats chop dat oil money before the oil turn to water. We were 20 in number with 8 of us from the same school, 5 out of the 8 my very own course mates. We were all seated in a conference room gettin to know each, you go fear when one guy from leadcity dey ma room for campEDE and I never saw him, the chief of defence staff Air marshal Petirin son dey der sef from Morgan university, as in sm kind bad connections, there was even a babe that was served conflakes imagine I had to leave ma seat to see who she be why dem no serve others, lo and behold she was from my platoon, we stood side by side when marching on parade, trust me nau nah to dey smile commot from der. Our infos were taken down and they promised to get back to us, I wouldn't mind if they don't take me but I have to be in line with God.

A blink and I was in vi, me and waka waka, actually went to get ☎ accessories and drop some corpers off. Oceanic bank is dead please go and remove your money oo, maybe bcos Cecilia is out only God knows. Queued for about 45mins dem no gree give me money after I had seen my balance...I left the bank for them back to the heart of vi "muri okunola" to see a friend. Thank God I carried all my docs o, I dropped my cv in a private firm. PHCN office was my next stop, Alhaji Kabiru no dey office so I had to chill, it was 30mins of hearing rubbish, those staff dnt do nada other than to gossip. Nah single phase card meter make me reach dis side o buhh na church gossip gist I dey hear. I heard enough it was time to flee from sin *backbiting oti poju* on my way home come and see ramming nau, it looked like it was planned, it happened just on the next lane to me in front of my own eyes. A CRV entered a HILUX twice in a geefy, na break failure though, the front bonnet of the CRV was nothing to write home about.

Home again to get my oceanic withdrawal booklet and off to another branch which the same situation reoccured, had to get to customer care to rectify my account, spent one full hour there because I wanted to withdraw thousands...if it were my billions the branch manager will have been fired for keeping me standing, my dear that time is already here oo. I saw another platoon 3 babe again buh as in how far, na them own dis gidi o, uniben babe she had already gotten acceptance letter whereas Ehi never even do medical God dey sha. Chevy baby I was there after like 30mins of traffic, gidi seems to be worse than I left it 3weeks ago. Home again safe and sound, tried hard to ease off the tension of Oceanic and lekki traffic, I had to chat with someone very close to my heart b4 I could get back my normal state.

It was indeed an eventful day for me,just as there is sunrise there is also sun down. The night crawled in slowly dinner was here and mammy was greatly missed not mammy water o mammy market, the thought of what to eat and the strength to cook were not even helping matters. I have lost my cooking mojo, I have lost my voice as in I am pissed off right now why do mondays just have to be like this...anyway I am coming back stronger and better with a cute bass voice *winks* hahaha tkcr fellas.

S/o to my new proof reader Alidebs I am more than grateful and also to Eky you are always there when I need you.
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campEDE PIX 3

My ever faithful bed, dont worry i slept everyday with my box

Iya Nuru carrying Nurudeen I hope he still becomes a Doctor IJN

Attention!!!

Reme and Deleon

Mariya afetr she seized my phone

we were meant to be on at ease awaiting the Governor of Osun

Lecturing Deleon on the right hand wheel

Miss NYSc 1st runner up Seun taking a nap and this hand is surely digging some gold

Mariya

Deleon, Mariya and Reme

Forming up the line

Receiving orders from her

Platoon parade commander Yetunde

Platoon 2

DJ Bigshoe: standstill right hand division

platoon 3 on parade

Ehi and Lois

Tolu on nta osogbo

Reme and Cindy
Thanks to you all for reading the series of campEDE, there are more pictures but they are in hard copy, will try to scan them soon enough....